Old post: Friday. A full moon.

(Just thought of posting this one. I made this October 2006. This came from my old blog site. I love this entry..)

Friday. a full moon. and ive no one to share it with...

i hate fridays. it tells me that another week ended, another work day over. just another tiring week. then comes friday and it tells you you earned to have some fun. friday's known to be gimmick night or date night. after work, you hang out with friends or office mates. all of you go out to have some dinner or drinks and rant or rave about work and life.

friday is good for date night too. you and your beau can go out and have a romantic evening, and it might go on until morning, since the next day is a weekend. you can sleep in the whole day.
its friday today and i've nothing to do after work. i had a busy day and was looking forward for some quality time with someone. unfortunately, that didn't work out. i wanted to go out with office mates, but that didn't work out either. they went home ahead of me.

i saw a beautiful, glowing, white moon in the sky tonight. such a sight to behold and i wish i could have shared that moment, staring for a few minutes at the moon. but then, its friday and i've no one to spend it with.

i wanted to go to the mall and have dinner or just walk around. but its friday, you can't do that. there's some sort of unwritten rule that you can't be going solo on a friday. being with one person is good, 5 or more is better. you guys get to share drinks and stories. but i didn't have both so i ended up doing what i always do: walk home.

so what do you do when you're all alone on a friday? you walk alone. you walk straight, with your head held high. do not start sighing so loudly, showing people how unaccompanied you are. you just walk, and i did. its always the thing with me. and im so used to walking alone. but i don't really like walking alone on a friday. but i guess i have to live with that.

saturdays and sundays are good. weekends are always the best since it gives you alot of time to spend on your self, doing what you want to do. i half like friday because it reminds me that the weekend is coming. for the weekend, either i stay home or go out with friends. i also like spending the whole day in bed. the bed and time giving you what you missed because you had to wake up early. saturday's are good. and for me, i like the word saturday. such an easy word to say.

sundays i don't look forward to. the sunday sun shoves right into my face that next day is monday, but that would be for later. sunday's time to go to church, eat lunch out with the family, then spend another lazy afternoon. but i hate sunday nights. sunday night tells you tomorrow is monday so you'd better start preparing for it. i don't like sunday nights, but its the only day that goes well with saturday.

i especially hate mondays. its the start of another crazy 8-5 week. mondays always makes me feel so low and so sleepy. my brain doesn't even start to turn its wheel during mondays. everyday, you always look forward to going home.

i read somewhere that tuesday is my lucky day. i think it was when i was still in college. maybe because my schedule is better every tuesday. anyway, tuesday doesn't feel any different, but i like tuesday. its the day after the boring monday. i guess because the idea of monday being the start of the week already ran out.

wednesdays is a tug of war. the one between the first days of the week and the last days. i feel indifferent with wednesday. but at least it reminds me of thursday.

before saturday, i like thursday. it tells me that friday is just around the corner. so i look forward to thursdays. you never know what's going to happpen on a thursday. thursday is the perfect day for surprises.

weekends are nice but there are only 2 days of it. weekdays last longer. i suppose its how a person sees it. if its the other way around, i dont know which one is better: having a longer weekend or a short one. but i used to like the weekdays, back when someone was still there to accompany me home. i always looked forward to those 5 days. these days, there's no more of that. and we only used to see each other every weekday, that's why i used to like weekdays, and weekends for me means skipping a beat, like music.

i don't want to start talking about my past with that guy again.

days turn into weeks and then to months. its only a few more days till christmas. i wonder what's in store for us this year? christmas times are cold, but i don't mind. im used to the cold. as i am used to being alone.

Old post: To the Computer Geek from the Shy Girl

i cannot ask you if you know
what's going on in my mind
for yours might be as
complex as mine
but i only hope
that with small gestures
the smile on my face
when i look at you
and how my body somewhat shivers
when im close to you
maybe
you could sense it
too
how long i've been
keeping
these special feelings

the words that can't seem
to come out of my mouth
and the only way i can show it
is by the smile on my face
and stolen glances along the way
and through
this poem
im too shy for you to read.

This 2008...

- I will work even harder and do my best as a Marketing Assistant.
- I plan to have my first trip to Boracay on May 2008. With whom? I dunno... depends on who's available :)
- I will buy the Asus Eee PC... and I mean it.
- I want to reconnect with old friends
- I want to fall in-love... but this time, I will not rush my heart to fall.
- I'll really save up for that house I want to buy :)
- I will learn how to drive.
- my time is my own.
- I'll look for a pet who wouldn't die after a few weeks :P (possible kaya?)
- I will still keep my promise of taking care of your heart.
- I'll throw away all those old stuff in my room... doesn't matter whethere they're my things or someone else's. I'll get rid of them if they're not using it.
- I'll go to Singapore. Why? Wala lang :P
- I will find a better reason to cry.
- I need to fix my scrapbook. And update the darn thing :P
- I need to update my iPod GB! Better get those darn titles correct.
- I'll keep on singing.. :)
- I'll buy Christmas gifts early hahaha! Natuto na ako sa nangyari sa amin ni Audrey :P
- Uunahin kong bilin ang Asus Eee laptop kesa bumili ng bagong cellphone :P
- I'll keep on writing in my blog.. and delete my old site as soon as I find my stupid password (damn it..)
- I'll still love...
- I'll go swimming kahit sa pool lang! (shout out to sa mga friends ko sa SAP :P)
- I plan to be a better person. Not change to someone different.
- I hope I'll be lucky this year :)
- I'll get a better events team :P
- I'll make my life easier in the office by asking questions and sorting out everything on my desk :)
- I'll learn how to fix the CSS themese in my multiply account..
- I'll keep myself fit.
- I'm not going to spend on anything not worth spending on.
- I'll get more songs from Zap (para di naman puro emo music ang pinakikinggan ko.. :P)
- I'll join WWF (World Wildlife Foundation ha... hindi World Wrestlin Federation! Isipin nyo yung may Panda!) or an org that will really interest me.
- I'll forgive and forget... and start anew.
- I'll go out on dates! :D
- I'll go back to Bohol with my girlfriends (please? please? PUHHHLLLEEASSE??)
- I'll write a better blog :P
(too many plans for the new year... hopefully I'd be able to work on these :) )

Year-end Surprise

Fate looked back at me before he walked away to do something about the coming year. And he gave me a knowing smile. Suddenly, amidst the peppermint mocha frappucino and pages of exciting harry potter reading, my phone beeped and an unknown number came in. The message is unexpected, and so I asked who it is. Surprise, surprise... the message came from someone I once knew. It made me laugh and the memories came flowing back again. I haven't been feeling alright lately, I even found myself crying out of the blue. But that one message made it all better. I guess my year will still end right. Fate gave me another chance to get it all back.

Thanks for coming back :) I'm glad you remembered me. And I'm happy to hear from you again.

To be Non-existent

I was doing an experiment today, inspired by some thing I read in one of my friend's blog's. I decided I wanted to dissappear for one day. Just one day (or maybe two.. I might do this again tomorrow haha :P) to stop existing in YOUR world. I've been cooking up a plan yesterday on how I should do my dissappearing act. Is it really to dissappear? Hmm... I just don't want to be found I guess. I was planning to go to work really really early so that the people here won't know that I'm in the office already. I left my phone at home just for fun (I've lived without it before... what's the difference with not having it for a day?). I did tell four people that I don't have my phone with me. But only those people I know I would need to talk to today. And so, I decided I don't want to be found, to dissappear, to not exist in everyone's world for a day.

What happened? Well obviously my experiment ended early as someone caught me and found me eventually (yes, I'm hiding okay? It's an experiment). Messages came in so I had no choice but to surrender. It might sound like I'm hiding from one person only, but actually to everyone (I was in invisible mode in the chatroom) *sigh*  I just want to hide from everyone I know. Why am I doing this? Nothing. I just want to. Maybe try and explore around... and let everyone wonder what I'm up to. I don't have an exact objective for this experiment, but it was fun while it lasted.

Conclusion? Well I was hoping to dissappear for one day but I guess half a day isn't so bad. I was in the office and didn't leave my room most of the time. What did I feel? Excited at the thought that people are looking for me, not knowing where or how to find me. We're all dependent on the fact that we can contact people on mobile, 24/7. It felt like I was free for a moment there when I wasn't bothered at all with messages or calls (i didn't pick up the landline if the ring is from an outside call, not internally). I wonder how many calls and unread messages are in my phone today? To those people who thought of me and went looking for me (if there were any), rest assured that I'm okay and ready to live another day.

I guess this experiment needs a little more tweaking (yes, I'm going to do this again). Time, venue and location should be different. I guess next time I'll try and do it for about two days. You may think of this as funny or stupid but you're free to think that way. I just want to dissappear. Period.

So, do you want to try and dissappear for moment?

Emo-ing Part 2

When you're all alone in the marketing room, you can scream, cry and emote all you want. Turn off the lights, lock the door, and feel how small the world is. I turn on the volume to it's loudest and savored once again the emo songs in my computer.

 

Phone's ringing, but I'm not answering. I want to stop existing from the world even for a day.

 

What I'm listening to right now...

 

WALKER’S RIDGE (CITY SLEEPS)

On walkers ridge love is not enough
And time keeps ticking on without us
Hand in hand the gods will ignore
Confused the rain here comes your face
A strange one with familiar traces
Silver tears you left there before

Now will you fall into a different world
Where I'd be the only one

And I've only missed you to pick my locks
And try to guess who's come around and who's stayed
And I've tried to stay alive
I cried myself to sleep every night
Dreaming to recapture the faces you made

I've got two pills in the usual drink
And I'd be the only one

Chorus:
'Cause you drive me crazy
You know that you do
It hurts that you won't be mine
'Cause you drive me crazy (crazy)

On walker's ridge time is not enough
To burn the houses down looking up
Eye to eye the gods will recognize
You left a trail of tears behind
And all the streets end up intertwined
So walker's ridge is where I will die

I've got two pills in the usual drink

Chorus
Crazy
You know that you do
It hurts that you won't be mine
You drive me crazy
(You drive me crazy, crazy)

Blogmusing

you just posted something in your blog again. and i'm so nervous everytime i read your blog. i don't know... maybe because im excited that i might read something about you that i don't know yet. i might have another discovery about you. or maybe because im hoping you'd write something about me.

i remember in one of my blog entries, i mentioned that i'm nervous everytime i post a blog. i might say something there about someone and i don't know if that person will read it or not (yes.. to much anonymity.. i guess i still don't want to say it here who that person is). but one thing's for sure, i don't know what to write about you. i don't know where to start. should i say you made me smile again today? should my sentence start with your name?  is the internet the best place to put everything how i feel about you? okay.. well for that last part, maybe not. still, I want to write something about you. something not everyone knows about. but i guess i have yet to know what it is i should know about you.

but your blog isn't about me. it's for somebody else. someone i never knew but i guess that person is important to you that you have something to say. somehow, reading through it, i realized there are alot of things i need to know from you. i need to get to know you better. written words can lie... and i can only make up a story about you and me but i don't want that. i guess i need more sunday nights alone with you.

somehow i have a lot to say but couldn't find the right words to say it. i guess that's always the case with me. i'd rather that i say what i want to say than just make up an excuse and beat around the bush. but don't worry, you'll read something different next time. I just don't know if you'll notice that it's about you.

(don't bother asking... effect of emo music and reading alot of stuff... notice all paragraphs (except first) ends in YOU)

Wish List

A good friend asked me before what I want to get for christmas. And I politely answered, "ASUS Eee PC na worth Php17,500 lang sa Cyberzone sa Megamall. May nakita din ako sa Galleria same din, worth 18,000-19,000." Hahaha! Ipromote daw ba? :P Well for me, it's one heck of a nice PC. Small, simple, easy to use and it's just perfect for someone like me. To learn more, click here: ASUS Eee PC.

Well, obviously it's the only thing I have in mind. I even asked my aunt from the States to buy me one (hopefully she does when she comes back to the Philippines this coming December 26 yey!). If they can't get it for me, then I'll just have to get it myself and make it my birthday and christmas gift for 2008 :D

Anyway, Christmas is just a week away and I still don't know what I really want to get. Everytime someone asks me what I want as a present, I answer with shrug, or just tell them "Kayo nang bahala.." I really don't know what to answer. Every time there's a kris-kringle for a party, everyone asks for a wish list. What the heck, I just put anything I can think of on paper then roll it and dropped it in the bowl (I took out the wish for "peace on earth and happiness to men"... I remembered my "mommy" isn't a god or a genie...). I remember writing "boquet of pink flowers and orchids" as my wish for Christmas, and I got it from my team leader in BSO last year. So sweet! She asked me why I want to have that for Christmas, I just told her I was reading the book, "Empress Orchid" and it got stuck. For some reason I wanted flowers for Christmas :)

Whatever it is I get this holiday season, I'm always gratefull for every thing. Still, I don't mind not getting anything at all. I was happy enough that my crush gave me a piece of chocolate out of the blue. I even kept the wrapper as a memorabilia :P Small, simple things (like the ASUS Eee laptop...joke) makes me happy. Especially a smile on someone's face, and words of love is enough as a gift for me.

The X factor

this is the first time i'll speak up about him here.

i hate my ex. i hate him for what he called me, what he said, what kind of person he is now. i hate the idea that he wasted all the years of us being friends with a single, stupid message. but i don't care anymore whatever happened to him. i just feel like shouting it out.

i've moved on and i've never been happier. i threw away the pictures, the notes (i can't find the other love letters he wrote for me. those poor trees.. i'm wasting them away in a trash can...), the cards, the presents (except one. i like the outfit and i barely think that he gave it to me), the text messages, the capture moments and videos on the phone. it's like all the memories i've had with him is in one bin and im dumping them into the ocean of forgotten memories.

after throwing them away, i felt better, lighter. nothing to worry about anymore. and i've accepted the fact that i grew up, finally. the EX factor has already been crossed out. if i see him around, i guess he'll just be a passing memory. i can't believe how easily i can forget about him.

Unang Tagay Ngayong Nobyembre

Boring pala pag walang pasok, lalo na yung matagal na holidays. Wala akong ginawa sa bahay kundi maglaba, mag basa ng libro (ng mga kwento at istoryang ilang beses ko na rin nabasa), at matulog ng tatlong beses sa isang araw (akala mo pagkain). Gustuhin ko man lumabas pag gabi, di naman ako pinayagan ng magulang ko. Internet na lang at yung isda kong si Fishy-poo ang kausap ko (oo ako lang talaga mag isa sa bahay).

Naisip kong lumabas at maglakad sa kung saan (baka sa uste. gusto ko na makita yung mga ilaw sa lover's lane..kahit wala akong lover). Di lang natuloy. Baka sa susunod na lang na maisipan kong mag muni-muni mag isa.

Masaya mag lakad mag-isa. Titingnan ka nga lang ng mga tao ba't ka nagso-solo eh hindi pa naman Valentine's day. (okay biteresa..fine..)

Naalala ko may blog akong ginawa noon tungkol sa paglalakad mag-isa isang Biyernes ng gabi. Okay yung blog na yun. Kasalanan ng ex ko yung nangyaring yun pero maganda ang kinalabasan ng blog.

Ayun. Tapos na ang holidays. Sa katapusan pa ng Nobyembre ang susunod na long weekend. Pero kagabi, naisipan ng mga ka-opisina ko na mag inuman. Ang saya! Bonding session naming 121 gang (minus 1) ay laging nadadala sa inuman. Masarap pa rin ang frozen tequila sunrise (tama ba?), na isang pitchel, na inorder namin. Wala namang nalasing. Kwentuhan tungkol sa love-life, mga tao, at mga future gimiks ang usapan. Pero highlight ng gabi ay nung nakasabayan naming uminom ang MD namin! Sobra nakakatuwa (kahit medyo maubos-ubos ang ingles ko) kausap si Krish! Dami pala nyang kwento lalo na tungkol sa tradition ng Indians. Di ko na ilalagay ang mga pinag-usapan namin. Kung hindi ka nakasama kagabi, sorry ka na lang (uuy parinig :D). Pero siguradong may next time pa yun at si Krish na ang nagsabi na sasabay sya sa amin sa kwentuhan (dictionary... where are you...) at sa inuman.

Isang lagok ng frozen drink at lahat ng alaala ay nakalimutan na. Dapat tumagay pa ng isa. Kaso hayaan na nating lumutang ang panaginip kahit sandali. Sa susunod na matinding inuman na lang ito lulunurin. (ano to??)

Naglalaro lang si Kupido

Bata lang siya. Tulad ng ibang bata, pilyo at makulit. Pero kakaiba rin to. Kaya ka nyang pa-ibigin sa kung sinong tao ng hindi mo inaasahan. Patatalbugin ka nya, gagawin ka nyang tanga sa pag-ibig at sa buhay. Bibigyan ka niya ng sakit ng ulo. Pero kahit sobrang daming pahirap nya, magpapasalamat ka pa rin sa kanya. Bata lang naman sya eh. Ginagawa lang niya ang bagay na yun para naman mapasaya ka niya. Kung naka-simangot ka lang lagi, sigurado, makikipag laro siya sa'yo at lalabas din ang kapilyuhan niya. May isasama sya na kalaro niyo rin, at dun na yun magsisimula, yung magic nya. Hayaan mo, mag eenjoy ka namang kasama siya. At sigurado, mas mag eenjoy kang kasama yung isang kalaro nya.

Logic

People aren't using logic at all. The bomb explosion (it's a bomb, an LPG tank can't make a whole on a ceiling, 4 stories high) at Glorietta is all over the news. Those poor, innocent people who died and got hurt.. I just feel real sorry for them.

What's the point of scaring people with those terrorists going around?? What are they trying to prove anyway?! Logic. Pure simple logic is what they need..

Love: By Definition

"Your smile is the sunshine that makes me open my eyes every morning, and your kiss in the moonlight is what makes my dreams sweet."

Love songs, even if they make you sick to your stomach sometimes, you just can't turn them off. I'm inspired by them, but most of the time they just hit the right spot in your heart and you feel like each word in the song is piercing deep inside. But even though it hurts sometimes, it's okay. To love and be loved is the best feeling in the world. The songs just define and explain to you what you're feeling. You're not falling, you're actually soaring into cloud 9 and no one can stop you from loving.

I imagine loving someone as flying. You're free to go anywhere and be who you are. Honestly, you cannot give an exact definition on love. Everyone has their own definition, it can be corny or it can be profound, but it's okay. The meaning doesn't exactly matter, it's the feeling, the emotion and the beauty of sharing it with someone that counts.

(okay.. I said I don't feel inspired.. but I just really need to update my blog that's all..)

The couple that never were

He's a charismatic young lad. She, a shy school girl. The two never thought they'd meet.

They go to the same school, attend the same class, share the same schedule, talk to the same people everyday. On the first day of school, they said "hi" and talked and laugh together with the whole class. He even kept on repeating her name so as not to forget. As the school year passed, they became close and both shared secrets. Morning till night, they would talk to each other. They have another friend, but he's not exactly the story. But nothing really grew between them.

The story goes that the lad focused on "something else" and chose to be with "someone else", while the lady is interested on their bestfriend. But they're still together. They hold hands, they hug, they call each other sweet names. Nothing really grew, but they share this special bond, a somewhat "more than friends, but less than lovers" type maybe. Who cares? people can define the closeness they share, but only those 2 knows the real story. Until now, they're friends, the best of friends. Open, honest and special to each other (they like to think so). But they were never a couple. And if you ask them why, they'll just answer with a smile, with a twinkle in their eyes.

Darling, you inspired me to write this. A tribute to our friendship ;)

Sleep-Less mornings and Rain-Y evenings

March 10, 2003/ May 29, 2003

1:00 a.m./ 9:00 a.m.

This is for you

That someone,

I can never get

Over with.

Dear someone,

I just want you to know I’m still here. Always near you if ever you need me and even those times that you want to be left alone, which by the way, you keep on doing these days.

Did you notice that I was sad? I don’t know but sometimes when I’m with you I feel like crying but you never saw that because I always manage to stop my self from starting the water works. But one time when I just couldn’t stand it, I just cried beside you and you saw those tears just fall. I’m sorry, I never meant to be weak.

Yes I’ve heard. She was that girl you can never stop thinking about. I’m glad to see you’re smiling again. Your face glows, your eyes sparkle and I so love looking at them just like before. It just shows how in love a person can be. I envy you coz you’re in love… you’re in love with her…

Don’t worry I won’t cry again. Not for you I guess. Showing you how weak I was once was enough. I’m happy for you, really. I don’t need to tell you that I love you so much. You’ve heard it before even if it was just a faint whisper. And I’m sure you know and I know you felt it somehow but that was in the past. That’s how it is, everyone is scared to admit it in the beginning. I don’t blame you. I was scared too.

Well I guess I’ll be one of those who would just look at someone like you from afar and love you then. But you know me, I don’t settle for that. I’ll move on like the time I moved on when you can’t tell me you love me. I’ll still love you; I’ll still be here. But when the time comes, you decided to look back and I’m not there anymore, I’ve already moved on and settled permanently. I might remember you but please, I must’ve loved somebody else by that time. I’ll be your friend.

So now I’ll call you friend. That’s right. A good friend. That’s how everything starts right? But sometimes it painfully ends like that. I want to thank you for making me open to love and that somehow I know you were in love too but you never had the guts to say it. I won’t push you anymore. I’m fine and I’m happy. You must’ve loved me differently so I’ll stop to that.

I’ll forget you but please forgive me when on rainy days I write your name on a dusty windowpane. I said I’d forget but old habits are hard to break. Don’t worry, they can be brushed off easily.

In time we’ll forget and in time we’ll remember. Love her, love her, and love her even more. And I’ll remember that too. So please my beloved someone, my good friend, don’t forget to stay in love like that. I will too.

Goodbye once again.

X0X (Die hand die verletzt)

Emo-ing

A lot of people are telling me that I'm being dramatic with all my status messages. Well, that's just me. And it's all Zap's fault (just kidding dad :P). He gave me emo songs and they're the only thing in the playlist of my computer. Can't help it. They're the only songs here.

So to share my drama to all of you, here's one song from Nickelback.

Yep. Azy. Dramatic.

FAR AWAY (NICKELBACK)

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there’s just one left

‘Cause you know, 

you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me 

and you’ll never go

Stop breathing if 

I don’t see you anymore

On my knees, I’ll ask

Last chance for one last dance

‘Cause with you, I’d withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I’d give it all

I’d give for us

Give anything but I won’t give up

‘Cause you know, 

you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you’ll be with me 

and you’ll never go

Stop breathing if 

I don’t see you anymore

So far away

Been far away for far too long

So far away

Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know 

I wanted

I wanted you to stay

‘Cause I needed

I need to hear you say

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

‘Cause I’m not leaving you anymore

Believe in

Hold on to me and 

never let me go

Keep breathing

‘Cause I’m not leaving you anymore

Believe in

Hold on to me and 

never let me go

 

(Keep breathing)

Hold on to me and 

never let me go

(Keep breathing)

Hold on to me and 

never let me go

The case of the un-missing cellphone case (part 2)

...it's gone...

Lost it last Friday during a swimming party. I know I still have it with me before we left the pool. But I guess during the rush of going back to Zap's house, I don't know who has my phone and the case. Well, I have my phone with me now but the red, velvet cellphone case is gone. Probably one the guys have it, I just don't know which one of them.

Am I looking for it? Yes I guess because now my phone doesn't have a case. A bother to buy a new one (okay that's pathetic). Well, it's mine... and... well... he gave it to me.. and..augh.. enough.

Wherever it is, or whoever has it... that cellphone case used to be mine.

Adieu to you, cellphone case... and the memories that you took with you...

To My Muse

Where are you now? One second, I was writing with all my heart. All emotions spilling out on paper but then suddenly, you’re gone. The ink in my pen has dried out and no words are forming in my mind.

Why did you have to leave me when I’m already at the highest point in my life? Happiness is overflowing in me and I couldn’t contain it. But once you’re gone, I couldn’t even smile. Everyone kept on asking why I was looking so blue. My laughter seemed so fake and my eyes always looking at a distance. Why do you come only when I am so full of love, and then disappear when my heart is broken? The songs I listen to right now are meaningless. I usually get my ideas on what to write from all those songs but I can’t hear the melody anymore. You just had to take the music with you. Did you really have to take all my happiness with you? It’s not fair that you had to take it all. I need to express my self somehow… to someone, anyone. I don’t know how to go on with my stories without you there beside me.

When will you come back? Tomorrow? Next week? At the forth night? Mind you, my dear muse, I don’t think I’ll fall in love again that easily. I am not even healed from this current heartache. I thought I could share with you my thoughts on this but you slipped away so silently, I didn’t even hear the door of my mind creak. I guess this is what I get from getting too close to you. They say you shouldn’t get too close with your muse, they’re only there to inspire and they’re not a shoulder to cry on. Did I hurt you in anyway? Didn’t I listen to what you always tell me? I’m saying all this because I know I couldn’t live without you there. I’ve finally admitted that to myself. You’re just too damn special to me.

Please come back. I just couldn’t write prose or poetry without you filling my mind with the most expressive words. I need to hear you whisper to me all the feelings and emotions we share for me to put it all on paper. When you read this please don’t think I found a new inspiration. This is what I have left of you. Tomorrow, I think I won’t be able to write anymore. You are my inspiration.

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Someday, someday

"sometimes no matter how much you love someone, that person cant just love you back the same way. And being with the person who doesn't love you back is way lonelier than being alone" (Grey's Anatomy)

This is for you, Mahal. :)

I remembered the talk we had before I left. And obviously we're both bitter with that quote. Atleast you're happy with who you're with now. Right now, I'm still bitter and it's okay if you scream it infront of me and you're laughing at the idea in my face. I miss seeing you laugh.

You don't know how lonely I am right now. I thought I'd be okay but I guess I really wasn't. It's still hard to accept. Yes maybe you have no idea what I'm telling you but I'll be glad to treat you to a bottle of beer as we talk about it. Talking about heartaches for me is alot better when you talk about it with a cold bottle in your hand. Okay, okay enough with the idea of drinking.. I'm still not yet sober from the drinking session I had the other day.

Back to my bitterness. Just so you know, I now understand how that kid felt when we said goodbye to each other. I can truly sympathize with him. I'd say it here but then this blog wouldn't be enough to tell you everything that has happened to me in the past few months.  I'm bitter and I'm hurting but I still say I'll be fine. Standard answer all the time. I can understand now why he doesn't want to be friends anymore, so I'm about to face that truth. However, I'm a hopeless romantic and there's still that tiny string of hope in my shattered heart. Hopefully that string will sow it back together.

I can truly relate to that quote. And we both agreed on the idea that it hurts most to love someone who doesn't love you back. You actually amaze me, the way you handle yourself in these kinds of situations. You're so strong and I admire that in you. I hope I could find that kind of strength as well.

I remember some lines from a song: Someday, someone's gonna take your place...One day i'll forget about you...You'll see, i won't even miss you...Someday, someday. Yeah someday I might be able to move on. And be happy. And I won't have to say that I'm fine anymore because being happy sounds better. Tell me you can relate to that song as well ;) I'm sure you do so don't deny it. I remember the both of us singing that song a long time ago. Yes someday we'll find that one we dream :)

Well, Mahal, this open letter is just for you because I miss you. I hope I could bump into you again. Stay sweet, loving, and adorable for me. See you around.

A forgotten poem

i found myself
whispering your name
in the middle of my
busy day
computers remind me
of you, i suppose.
i shiver at a fantasy
but then my cubicle
is cold
and only you being there
makes it warm enough
to be in.


---Found this in my files.. I forgot already when I made this.. I think this still needs a bit of tweaking but the main idea is already there.. I'll just change it once I find the inspiration to write again. Di ko na sasabihin yung title, too private :P

I bet you think this blog is about you

not a distraction but an inspiration. that's what she said. mild's a great girl, a sister to me infact. yeah i think she's right. i wanted to be distracted from the thoughts about my ex; me missing him so much, what we used to talk about, his comforting hugs and passionate kisses. yes, i used to have that but now i've decided to break up with him because i felt that i fell out of love for him.

falling out of love is really easy. all of a sudden you just dont feel that you love that person anymore. the hard part is when you have to face the truth that you already fell out of it and you have to tell the other person. i cried a tear (yes a tear only) when my ex and i broke up, but then a cascade of tears followed days after we did. i guess it got to me just after that. i thought i would be strong enough to face the world i used to not notice when i was with him, all alone and brave. but reality rears its head around the corner and tells me that i need someone to help me along the way. yes i miss my ex and i still love him even though i did fell out of love. its not the love anymore, its about growing up.

i grew up and found myself growing with other people and not with him: my partner, my best friend, my sweet love, the first and only as i used to think. there was a mistake somewhere in the calculation that both of us should grow together and inspire each other but it didn't sum up like that. its either i grew up (in maturity and experience) way ahead and he's just about to face that part or the other way around. i really don't know but it became blurred somehow.

yes an inspiration instead of a distraction. i remember during the first time my ex and i broke up, someone was there to catch me. there was the carlo and he was sweet. we had mutual feelings for each other but we didn't go far from that. my being sad and lonely and brooding over being alone is maybe because no one is here to catch me. no one is here to distract me and inspire me at the same time to be better. i wanted to be inspired, and this blog is not enough to say that I am though good thoughts are swimming inside my head. you don't get inspired just like that. I dont know how other people find themselves inspired and wanting to be better for the other person. i guess you just dont notice it until people tell you you've changed.

i used to be inspired when i was still together with that someone. now, i can't find my inspiration. we all know its just there but inspiration is not part of a game where you grab it in mid-air. it just happens. and im out to look for that inspiration, whatever or whoever he is. i'll never know when it'll happen but im sure it's just right there.

Evil... evil... evil... (short)

I dont want to see the good in people. I want to see the evil in every person, the wicked side of human nature. with that knowledge in hand, i would know how to get on their good side. for evil cannot exist without goodness. they compliment each other, they exist for each other.

Sunlit Garden

She asked you to play the serenade that reminds her of a garden in England. How it would look like if the garden were a song. And you stood and obliged, walking towards the grand piano at the center of the room. As a gentleman, the favor of a lady should never be turned down. I only looked on, busy keeping my dress neat. But I stopped and looked at you when I heard your fingers glide on the white and black keys.

I never thought you could play so beautifully. You seemed to glow like an angel by the piano. I blushed at the thought, trying hard to shake away the daydreams.

But this song is familiar... you taught this to me once by the rose garden...

"Go on.. you know how the music goes." the countess whispered in my ear. She handed me the violin. I looked at her and saw the secret in her eyes. They tell me that I should be standing there with you.

I thumbed the strings with care and I let the bow glide. I played with my heart, the song that reminded me of blue skies and the sun casting a shimmer over green fields and roses in bloom. Reminiscing the time you held my hand as you taught me your favorite song, which now is my favorite as well. The moment we stopped and looked at each other; and only the birds and the flowers knew that something else, something greater, blossomed on that field that day.

It was just you and me there. The piano and the violin's melody blending together. Our hearts playing as one. And I saw that in your eyes when you looked up to me. You never took away your gaze and so did I. Both of us continued playing, serenading each other; expressing our emotions through music. We finished our song and time somehow stood still. Our melody floated in the air, and everyone was quiet. Glorious claps followed soon after you stood up. You took my hand and gave me a sweet kiss. I returned it with the sweetest smile that only you deserve. You never let go of my hand that night... and you never did.

This wasn't a dream.. it was for real..

The countess looked on,  with a smile on her lips.

Our Story

my childhood has always been happy and normal. playing with friends at home or with my brother and our toys always makes me happy. but there's one thing that made my childhood really special.. and it's because of you :)

i remember the children's parties that our families both attend. we play together but don't talk much (well you don't :P you were always so quiet) but we have fun during the games. there's also the office outing in Laguna and i remember all us kids playing tricks on each other (i think we locked my brother in the room then and he couldn't get out haha). i also remember going to your house and we'd play in your room with your cousins (you have this dartboard  in your room then and we'd eat jellybeans of various flavors).

but childhood was short... and we didn't see each other for 9 years... long,  long  years and i've been thinking whatever happened to you.. and i wondered if you ever thought of me too..

who would've thought that your sister would be turning 18 so soon. and our family's invited to the party. i thought "hey.. i wonder what he looks like now.." and continued on thinking until we saw each other that night. it's vague but i remember you walking up to me and my brother inviting us to write a note on your sister's frame. and i remember your dad asking if i want to dance with you. i guess i couldn't answer then.. and i remember walking beside my parents to our car. i wasn't able to dance with you that night, but i would've if we stayed. we never talked, but it could've been nice if we did.

four years have passed.. and it's my turn to be 18. and i couldn't contain myself from the excitement for my party. and then you showed up, handsomely in a suit and tie of course. but that wasn't the highlight that night. it was when our turn to dance for the traditional 18 roses. for me time slowed down at that moment you took my hand and we danced. it was sweet, and very memorable. you made my birthday extra special that night.

maybe fate was being nice to me.. you asked me to be your date for your prom. i remember not saying yes immediately when you asked me. and you excitedly called me up as soon as I said yes :) the prom night was magical, another memorable moment. i finally met your friends and we had our picture together. the best part is yet to come, and i had a chance to dance with you again. i can still remember the songs being played while we danced.. and we both smiled at each other. but the night has to end... and we shared one last dance before you took me home.

*sigh* yep i could still remember every detail of those times. and i love telling our story. it hasn't ended yet, there are still more memories to create. i'm glad we get to talk to each other again, after a few years. maybe we could catch up sometime, and share more stories of each other.

it's raining again...but i don't need the rain to remind me of you :)

*for Rain*

The case of the un-missing cellphone case

I have a cellphone case. It's a red velcet case with black pull out strings. I got it from a friend I used to consider really, really special to me (now I wish him dead.. just kidding). That cellphone case hase been with me for a year already. It was quite a surprise when he gave it to me because he has the exact same thing. He tool my other cellphone case (it was blue... forgot where I got it) and replaced it with the red one like  his. He said he got it for me because he wanted to share something with me. I thought it was kind of sweet really. It's like "aww.. they both have the same cellphone case.." something people would say when we're together. Now I no longer see that friend of mine. I have no idea where he is, who he is right now, or what he's doing. And I don't think I seem to care anymore. But the cellphone case is still with me. I kept it even after we stopped talking to each other. The cellphone case isn't the only item I have that reminds me of him. I still have a few things I lost somewhere at home. But of course, my cellphone is what I always have with me, and the red case would also go with it.

I never really saw it as something that reminds me of that guy. It is what it is, just a cellphone case. But why did I say it's unmissing? Because everytime that I think I've seemed to have lost my cellphone case, I am still able to get it back. For some reason, I find it at someone's table, by the corner on the floor (I always lose it that way), or  someone found it for me. It finds its way back to me for some reason. It happened before when I thought I finally lost it for good, I thought "well, there gose my remembrance from carlo.." I heave a sigh and move on. Okay, maybe it does remind me of him. It's like it screams his name to me. But there are no more memories of him... well there maybe some but I barely think about it. Right now when I think about him, it's just... blank.  Yeah I guess I've moved on but the cellphone case is still with me.

I've lost the guy and the feeling... but I wonder if I'll ever lose the cellphone case.

The Other Woman

She was satisfied with her life until she met you.

The other woman is the mysterious girl you talked to. A stranger that came out of the blue. She's the one who keeps on smiling even when she's down. She's the one you shared a cup of coffee with until 12 in the morning. When she smiles, it's like she's been practicing it infront of the mirror the whole day. Her eyes are like the emoticons on your computer. The other woman is the girl who isn't satisfied but happy. When it's stormy and cloudy outside, she hopes she has someone like you to hold and cuddle with to keep her warm. She sings songs that can break your heart, make you "kilig" all over, or just enchant your ears. She's the one who dreams the strangest dreams and eats like there's no tomorrow. She's the one who couldn't express herself well when she talks to you. The other woman has imaginary friends who follows her around and talks to her when she's alone, and talks to her more especially when she's with you. Her eyes has a lot to say that her mind and heart would like to express but her mouth could not speak of. She becomes speechless when you ask her a question, and she's a bad liar  while trying to convince you that she's okay. Her thoughts form into her mouth but they come out only as a deep sigh. She has a lot of songs to sing but not one of them could truly say what she feels.

The other woman wants to forget you but she couldn't.

Puff, puff...

Had a smoke earlier. One smoke that I haven't had for a long, long, long time. But seriously, I don't smoke. I guess I just feel like getting a puff for no reason. Or is there?

People smoke for a lot of reasons. Mostly to calm themselves. As I smoke, I don't feel calm. But I imagine my insides loosening up. The smoke taking all my emotions away from every part of my body. The shattered pieces in me being taken away slowly by the wind. The smoke spells out all my frustrations, my heartaches, my memories. I'm slowly releasing every part of me... so that I won't have to worry about them anymore.

You in-hale all the smoke, and let it grab all the confusion that's inside you. Tears you couldn't cry, words left hanging... those are what needs to be released. Then blow everything away. Let it join the air, along side those other emotions that are still hanging there. Feelings that were left alone by some people. What you don't notice is you breathe in those emotions as well. Leaving you more confused than ever.

*yeah, I didn't get this one either. Maybe because the smoke got to my brain and scrambled everything there..

After a sudden burst of inspiration... I came up with this one.

why the fucking hell do i even bother to fall in love?? who the heck had ever thought of the notion that falling in love is easy?! in this cracked up world, nothing is easy. not even loving someone you know you couldn't have. it's all just a sales ploy to sell out music, movies, chocolates, and even the frigging flowers that would die in 7 days.. fine i'm bitter and you can't do anything about it. because it's my heart that is bleeding but still beating even if I've been trying to make it stop. it won't. my heart had a mind of its own and if it wants to fall for someone now, it doesn't even ask me anymore. I'm crazy and my feelings are getting a lot more complicated. I feel nervous everytime my heart is beating for someone and it's driving me friggin crazy. I'm not wishing to be loved by someone, I'm not even entirely over a previous heartache (i think) then another person will come to make my uneventful day be so full of surprises! i can barely sleep at night thinking about it.

this is really annoying... the sudden rush, the butterflies in my stomach, the deep deep sighs, the crazy smiles, the stars, the intense feeling...

damn.. I'm so not ready for this shit...

No I don't miss you at all..

white clouds spell out your name
the wind echoes your song
everytime the clock looks the same
the seconds are ticking too long

hours ive spent waiting
hoping you'd be here sooner
good thing i love writing
poems and prose on paper

the calendar counts its days
im thinking what else to do
writing our names in so many ways
wishing just to be with you

i hope time can run faster
then it would be just fine
the sooner this week would be over
the sooner you would be mine

When it rains... you won't find me under an umbrella.

Rainy season is here.. well for me officially. Once the government declares classes are suspended because of flooding and heavy rains (well more of flooding really.) then that's the start of the rainy season. Makes me wish I'm still in school, all cuddled up in bed.. thinking of the cartoon shows i can watch in the afternoon *sigh*..

The rain's making me nostalgic...

Sometimes I like it when it rains.. sometimes I don't. Usually the reason being that I couldn't go home early, and the traffic and flooded areas are my biggest enemies. But when I feel like I have all the time in the world, I like the rain. It washes away everything, cleaning the air, watering the plants (there I go with my lover-of-nature side)... *sigh* especially if its only a light drizzle.

I like walking under a light drizzle of rain. Yes, I could get sick, I'm pretty much aware of that, but I barely think about it. It's the moment that I'm under the rain that makes it so special. It's so refreshing and so inspiring. You see everyone trying to get cover from the rain, while you're just savoring the moment and the time is ticking slowly. I was too busy with feeling the drops of water on my skin, nothing matters anymore but that moment. And I wish I could get it back.

These days, the rain falls so hard, you can barely savor it (i don't want to stand under a storm, thank you). But sometimes, when it's close to stopping, I keep my umbrella and walk. Just walk. And people are looking at you, don't know whether they're thinking if you're crAzy or just plain stupid because you could get sick. But who cares? I don't mind a wet look. So what if my clothe's get wet? The rain is my friend at that moment. No one's offering me their umbrella, and that's fine with me.

I used to have someone to walk along with me when its raining.. but that was a long, long time ago.. good times though, good times...

Anyway, the radio announced that classes are suspended for gradeschool and highschool. Lucky kids.. they can cuddle in bed. For working people like me, I had to go to work. But its fine, I guess. It's just a short rain, and the skies are clearing up... tomorrow might be another nostalgic feeling. 

Da da da da dada dadada da DADADA!

watched the simpsons movie last saturday at the promenade for a date :) it's a funny movie and i really recommend watching it. green day and tom hanks are guests in the movie (spoilers!!). as usual, it had the comedic flair, with the injection of "protect nature" messages, that is expected from a simpsons show. we saw the lfs but it was worthit.

from start to finish, the movie kept on making me laugh on every thing the characters had been doing. really, really good so please watch it. i'm sure you'll enjoy it too.

next on my list: ratatouille. we were supposed to watch that last saturday but unfortunately, all the movie houses were packed. maybe next time...

shoutout: thanks oliver =*

 

I know what you're doing..

... I see it all too clear.. I only taste the saline when I kiss away your tears...

okay.. probably a not so good title. just had to get the song out of my head.

im now in my new company, SAP. moved in only last 18-July. again, i had to make a choice. no matter what it is, i made a decision and the consequences and responsibilities (whatever they maybe) are mine. it's quite enjoyable here, really. there are half of the people here from my previous company and they are friendly. there are 3 of us in the team, and im still learning at the moment but im sure ill be able to get my hands on it in time (hopefully soon).

been going out with friends lately for some drinks... hehe.. i miss my oracle buddies =P

Rants and Raves

rave: my shirt dress from celine! its a sale so i couldn't  resist! im a shopaholic :P
rant: my phone.. i just had it cleaned 2 weeks back, now the stupid joystick is being troublesome again argh...
rave: michelle's  hair! rebonded beautifully!
rant: not being able to attend the oracle kick-off... because i moved to sap.. =P
rave: my LBD! I bought it for the oracle kick-off.. ended up using it at the sap after party haha
rant: humid weather.. argh.. im sweating like hell..
rave: marketing position! hehe
rant: the Girlfriend magazine isn't sold in all the magazine stands I know...
rave: drinking! hahaha i had 4 vodka sprite last thursday! went home drunk.. =P

 

to be continued... ;)

Writing on a blank piece of paper

Dahil sa'yo wala nanaman akong maisulat. Dahil din sa'yo, tulala nanaman ako at hinahayaan na lang mag tae ang bolpen ko sa puting papel. ni ang keyboard ko hindi nag iingay kasi wala akong maitype. gusto ko sanang gawing ikaw ang sentro ng isusulat ko kaso di ko alam kung san ako magsisimula. bakit kaya pagdating sayo, wala akong masabi? hindi ko alam pano magsisimula ng isang pangungusap sa isang talata para sa'yo.  pinilit kong magsulat kaso wala talaga. wala akong masabi. hindi ko alam kung pano ilalarawan ng maayos kung pano ako napapangiti na lang pag nakikita kita. sa sobrang kaba, yuyuko na lang ako para lang hindi mo makitang nakangiti na ako. ginawan na kita ng isang tula kaso nahihiya pa rin ako. may naka-basa na ng tulang yon. siguro iisipin mo, "buti pa yung iba nakabasa na ng tulang gawa mo". sa totoo lang, pati sayo naipakita ko na yun, di mo nga lang naisip na para sa'yo yung ginawa ko. di ko alam kung manhid ka lang talaga o kulang pa yung ginagawa ko. mahirap din kasi akong intindihin eh. gusto kita kaso nahihiya akong sabihin sa'yo. akala ko nung una alam mo na pero hindi mo pa rin pala gets yung sinasabi ko.

Bakit kaya lagi na lang speechless ako pagdating sa'yo? Pati ibang tao nagtatanong na sa akin. Akala mo naman isa akong directory, hinahanap ka nila. Kungdi ka man hanapin sa akin, magtatanong tungkol sa ating dalawa. Yun ang malabo. Wala namang "tayong dalawa" di ba? Sa hitsura mo pa lang pag binibiro nila, kumpirmadong wala nga. Ako lang siguro yung nagiisip na sana, kung kelan man yun, naisip mo ring may gusto ka sa akin. Kahit sobrang malabo ang pagkakataon na yun, siguro naman meron din.

Ayun, balik nanaman ako sa blangkong papel. dinrowingan ko na lang ng kung ano. Pero ikaw ang nasa isip ko habang ginagawa ko to. Kung exam to, bagsak na ko. Pass the papers na, wala pa rin..

Where are you?

i've  tried searching for a name in Multiply and found that it doesn't exist at all (or yet..?). that name only needs a face, or rather i have a face in mind but im not sure of a name. and so i just created a name for him. whoever that person is, at the moment he only exists in my mind. but i guess in some ways, it's better that way. i've got a wild imagination and i always let my mind wander off somewhere, creating images that makes me put to paper my thoughts. 

funny when you've got someone in mind, there are alot of things you dream of doing. and in your dreams, that is where you create a play to practice on for real life. and in the fantasy that is where you're  brave enough to say something you couldn't say in real life. i don't want people getting inside my head. it's so full of weird stuff that i don't want to file any 'missing persons' report the next day.

where are you? are you even here? these are the questions for that person i'm looking for. i don't have any objective to finding him, i guess i just wanted the comfortable feeling that he exists. okay, maybe not comfortable but the magical feeling when you  meet that person and realize  he's actually existing right here, right now.

... but i'm still scared.  he might not be the person i imagined he would be, so at the moment it's better that he stays in my head. at least in there, i know who and what he is, and talking to him is  much easier.

PLEEEEEASE READ!!!! it was on the news! ASAP.. Hello!

ever get a forwarded email like that? the one that says something like Microsoft is going to pay you an X amount of money if you forward it to some people blah blah? the story goes like a company just doesn't want a case filed against them (i have no idea what its about) and so if you send the email to everyone in your list, you're gonna get a check in your mail after 2 weeks. just got an email like that again but I checked the history, it goes way back to 2003 (!!!)

so makes you think how long is the 2 weeks they said in the email where you can get the money they owe you. im not sure if its true or what (though i think at the year we are in now, its probably not) but its just funny to expect something like that. hey if they can search where and who you are, that's invasion of privacy isn't it?

The Big Leap

im confused. i dont know whether to be excited or nervous. i both am at the moment but it feels more like i dont want to wake up the following morning. this is unexpected but it came and im glad it did. i just dont know if i should say it or what. i cant tell those people close to me because i dont want to pre-empt the situation. i cant tell them that because it might cause some eyebrows to raise (but i expect that to happen).

i just want to sleep well tonight and be ready for a decision i need to face tomorrow. im nervous but im excited at the same time. i met alot of people today and they're all so nice to me. its good to have met them atleast.

as what my dad said "choose the one that challenges you" and it does matter if i want to grow.

so here's to a good night sleep and a sunny tomorrow...

To one person, you are the world

one name can make or break my day. one smile can make me happy. one message on the phone can brighten a dreary morning. one call can contain surprises. only one touch can make you feel wanted, but only for a moment. one look can make me fluster and drown in it. one glance would make me think of ways to keep it. one moment of holding your hand completed a part of a fantasy. one photo made me hope of wanting more. one invitation made my heart beat fast. one dinner was enough to make me feel close to you. one joke about you can turn me red. one thought of you, is just one of the million more thoughts made of you. one laugh from you makes me want to hug you. one tiny gift has made me feel special. one news about you made a part of my hopes crumble. one night of seeing you with someone made a tear fall. one dream, i always wish would come true.

and one name created a fantasy in me. one name made me hope. one name contradicted everything i say. one name made me lie. one name is driving me crazy. one name is confusing me. one name i always want to forget but couldn't. one name is so common it can be anyone. one name has only that smile, that laugh, that touch, that thought... and he's only one. and he's a someone to some girl's world.

The Dream's Story

I saw her standing there, draped in white linen. She stood under the mango tree and I could see her take a deep sigh. This is her story:

"I once held him here (a vision formed beside her.. like all other dreams, its just an imagination) and we looked into each other's eyes, not talking at all. Sometimes, you talk things through silence, and you understand every meaning of it in his eyes. We had a great adventure with love, like the roller coasters we can see from a distance. He wasn't like all the other men I've met. He was ill tempered but his touch is soft. He was strict, but caring. He was strong, and yet when I held him, he was like a child (She sat down on the grass, the vision of the man rested its head on her lap). But as a woman, my mind changes and I wanted more. I know he can move the mountains and catch a falling star for me if I ask him too. However, doubt has always been a companion and misery followed soon after. I couldn't see my self with him like before, even the reflections I cast on the water cry out to me to run back to his arms and take that big leap with him. I wanted more than the stars in the sky.. and I went looking for it but found that none of them can stay in my hands long enough.

In the end, my dreams have crumbled and it is all because of me. Under this tree, he left a note and said good bye. He didn't even wait for me to reply to him. Only the wind helped brush away the tears that have fallen. I wanted more than the stars in the sky... but it was too late when I realized, this man is already the creator of my world and he once gave me an eternity I never asked."

At that moment, she wept. And when she tried to kiss the vision lying on her lap, it dissappeared into thousands of butterflies. Not even one of them left a kiss on her cheek.

Romansa Espesyal by Mike's Apartment

Watched my friend Mike and his band, Mike's Apartment, at the Temple Bar last Jun 28. It started around 10:30 pm and I got home around 1am. Dragged 2 friends along for the gig: Michelle, my Canadian beauty, and Lalaine, my office siren. Of course, the usual, we had a round of drinks (courtesy of Mike, thanks so much!) and the 3 of us chatted away to the night (well we tried.. the first band was too loud, we were almost shouting at each others ears...). My favorite song that night is called "Deliryo" (I think) and it did sound so familiar. Quito (another officemate) said they have a video of it so I'm trying to look for it now.

Glad to know I have a new friend who actually has a band of his own. And to think Mike is so young and he can compose songs and belt it out with passion in front of people. WOW. I'm amazed, really. They said they have an LP out already and I plan to get one my self.

Their band, like all the other bands who played that night, are all underground. They don't exactly profit for their music (sometimes) but they do have the passion for it. Sometimes, those kinds are hard to beat in the music industry.

P.S. If Mike's Apartment sounds quite familiar but is NOT exactly what you would think of a band name, send me a message and I'll tell you all about it.

Makes you feel warm inside

SAMSON (REGINA SPEKTOR)

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first, I loved you first

Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth

I have to go, I have to go

Your hair was long when we first met

Samson went back to bed

Not much hair left on his head

He ate a slice of wonder bread and went right back to bed

And history books forgot about us and the bible didn't mention us

And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first, I loved you first

Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads

But they're just old light, they're just old light

Your hair was long when we first met

Samson came to my bed

Told me that my hair was red

Told me I was beautiful and came into my bed

Oh I cut his hair myself one night

A pair of dull scissors in the yellow light

And he told me that I'd done alright

and kissed me 'til the mornin' light, the mornin' light

and he kissed me 'til the mornin' light

Samson went back to bed

not much hair left on his head

Ate a slice of wonderbread and went right back to bed

Oh, we couldn't bring the columns down

Yeah we couldn't destroy a single one

And history books forgot about us

And the bible didn't mention us, not even once

You are my sweetest downfall

I loved you first

hoping to find someone who will break all my walls down... wishing on the stars to be with mr. imagination..

Music, Song, and Church

I'm glad to be part of the 'choir' we formed here in the office for the Mass that is held every first Friday of the month. I've always wanted to join a choir for Church. I didn't give myself the opportunity to do so and I still couldn't find the explanation as to why.

I remember a friend of mine asking why do I keep on singing all the time. My reply was that its better that I sing instead of reciting a poem. That would be weirder than the former

Songs are what makes my day. Music creates the rhythm in me. And to sing a song, especially a Church song, makes me feel all better.

This takes me back to my wish to join the convent. Okay, I know that didn't sound right at all. But it's true. I've always wanted to be a nun and or a missionary. There's this tug in my heart everytime whenever I think about it. I guess if there's something that I really wanted to be, is to be a nun. I couldn't explain why, as my thoughts would come out differently when I say it. Still, there's that thought and I would keep it in me always.

Of steaks and beers

I thought I'd be going home early last Tuesday but ended up sharing a drink with my officemate and his cousin. I was quite cautious at first but then the thought of my tummy grumbling and my last drink was when I was in Bohol made me go for it. We went to this bar near Parksquare which is quite nice and they serve a really big t-bone steak, grilled to the way I like it. Actually for 3 people, 1.5K is enough and you have 2 steaks and beer to go with it. As usual, ordered SMB Light with a shot of grenadine (yum) but I didn't get drunk or anything. I told myself I'd drink 2 bottles of it only. That would give me the buzz I need.

It was fun talking to them. Very animated not to mention talented. It was a fun night but it had to end. At least I made a new friend, not to mention got to know my officemate more. I got a new buddy here in my block.

PS to Fides, I got to try again the "Submarine" (beer and you drop a shot of tequila in the mug). I forgot how it tasted as the first and last time I had it was when your 18th bday. Had a taste of it again.. couldn't remember the exact taste but it did give it a kick. ;)

Candy munching

I just bought a bag of gummy candies the other day.

Still eating it until today.

I like the way I chew the bears

Candies can give me toothaches but, who cares!

They even have candies shaped like teeth and gum

I've been telling everyone to try some.

... just a little thought for my favorite gummy candies... =P

Girls weekend out

A weekend full of shopping, dining, and bonding. It was so much fun going out with Chelle, James and Fides, and for the very first time, Fides stayed with us until 12am in the morning!

Here are the details:

Saturday: Dinner at Il Pirata in Eastwood City, Libis. Ordered Insalata Morgan, Ravioli Chese and Spinach, Pizza Corsano (?), and Potato pasta with Penne. Expensive! Gosh our bill went up to 1.6K and there are only 4 of us eating, and only 5 pieces of Ravioli?? Geez!! But anyway the food is good. I've a problem with one of the waitress there so the service is not at all okay. Afterwards, had dessert at Cafe Xocolat where I ordered one cold Adult Mocha, a spiked chocolate drink. It's quite nice actually. It wasn't strong or anything, just gave me a little buzz. After dessert, walked around Eastwood a little bit, looked around stores and tried on some stuff. I also bought 350 pesos worth of gummy candies.. yummy. Said goodbye to Fides by 12am (we never noticed the time... just proves that we had so much fun with each other) and went home to Jme's place for a sleepover. Slept at 2:30am.

Sunday: Woke up at 10am. Thought of what else to do then had lunch at Jme's place. Met Jme's lola and cousins. We decided to have a photoshoot at Michelle's place and have a sleepover there too! By 1:30pm, was fetched by Michelle's driver, drove back to Retiro and went home to take a bath and bring some stuff to Retiro. Jme suggested we go to the Block at SM North so we drove there too and went shopping (special thanks to Dante, Jme's friend, for the discount!). Drove back to Retiro, went to Lourdes Church for mass and went home to have dinner and watch Cinderella III which is really nice ("But the talking mice said I got the wrong girl!"). Slept at 12am.

End.

 

Casino Royale

I'm part of the committee for our fiscal year kick off. And for this year, we decided to have a James Bond 007 theme, specifically the Casino Royale. I haven't watched the movie but I'm sure it would be a blast to have it as a party theme.

Tux and cocktail dress is now the topic of conversation.

I don't know what I would wear but I'm definitely starting to look for one.. and I plan to include a little secret underneath all the glitter ;)

forgot how to be single *scratches head*

"what do you do when you're committed? you complain...and when you're single? you complain alot more."

phrase courtesy of yours truly.

I'll keep this simple. I forgot what I always do when I was single. I might've gone out with friends, played video games (computer games to be specific.. we didnt have nintendo or PS then), read books, bake, cook...

fine. say I'm silly but that's how feel right now.