The Other Woman

She was satisfied with her life until she met you.

The other woman is the mysterious girl you talked to. A stranger that came out of the blue. She's the one who keeps on smiling even when she's down. She's the one you shared a cup of coffee with until 12 in the morning. When she smiles, it's like she's been practicing it infront of the mirror the whole day. Her eyes are like the emoticons on your computer. The other woman is the girl who isn't satisfied but happy. When it's stormy and cloudy outside, she hopes she has someone like you to hold and cuddle with to keep her warm. She sings songs that can break your heart, make you "kilig" all over, or just enchant your ears. She's the one who dreams the strangest dreams and eats like there's no tomorrow. She's the one who couldn't express herself well when she talks to you. The other woman has imaginary friends who follows her around and talks to her when she's alone, and talks to her more especially when she's with you. Her eyes has a lot to say that her mind and heart would like to express but her mouth could not speak of. She becomes speechless when you ask her a question, and she's a bad liar  while trying to convince you that she's okay. Her thoughts form into her mouth but they come out only as a deep sigh. She has a lot of songs to sing but not one of them could truly say what she feels.

The other woman wants to forget you but she couldn't.

Puff, puff...

Had a smoke earlier. One smoke that I haven't had for a long, long, long time. But seriously, I don't smoke. I guess I just feel like getting a puff for no reason. Or is there?

People smoke for a lot of reasons. Mostly to calm themselves. As I smoke, I don't feel calm. But I imagine my insides loosening up. The smoke taking all my emotions away from every part of my body. The shattered pieces in me being taken away slowly by the wind. The smoke spells out all my frustrations, my heartaches, my memories. I'm slowly releasing every part of me... so that I won't have to worry about them anymore.

You in-hale all the smoke, and let it grab all the confusion that's inside you. Tears you couldn't cry, words left hanging... those are what needs to be released. Then blow everything away. Let it join the air, along side those other emotions that are still hanging there. Feelings that were left alone by some people. What you don't notice is you breathe in those emotions as well. Leaving you more confused than ever.

*yeah, I didn't get this one either. Maybe because the smoke got to my brain and scrambled everything there..

After a sudden burst of inspiration... I came up with this one.

why the fucking hell do i even bother to fall in love?? who the heck had ever thought of the notion that falling in love is easy?! in this cracked up world, nothing is easy. not even loving someone you know you couldn't have. it's all just a sales ploy to sell out music, movies, chocolates, and even the frigging flowers that would die in 7 days.. fine i'm bitter and you can't do anything about it. because it's my heart that is bleeding but still beating even if I've been trying to make it stop. it won't. my heart had a mind of its own and if it wants to fall for someone now, it doesn't even ask me anymore. I'm crazy and my feelings are getting a lot more complicated. I feel nervous everytime my heart is beating for someone and it's driving me friggin crazy. I'm not wishing to be loved by someone, I'm not even entirely over a previous heartache (i think) then another person will come to make my uneventful day be so full of surprises! i can barely sleep at night thinking about it.

this is really annoying... the sudden rush, the butterflies in my stomach, the deep deep sighs, the crazy smiles, the stars, the intense feeling...

damn.. I'm so not ready for this shit...

No I don't miss you at all..

white clouds spell out your name
the wind echoes your song
everytime the clock looks the same
the seconds are ticking too long

hours ive spent waiting
hoping you'd be here sooner
good thing i love writing
poems and prose on paper

the calendar counts its days
im thinking what else to do
writing our names in so many ways
wishing just to be with you

i hope time can run faster
then it would be just fine
the sooner this week would be over
the sooner you would be mine

When it rains... you won't find me under an umbrella.

Rainy season is here.. well for me officially. Once the government declares classes are suspended because of flooding and heavy rains (well more of flooding really.) then that's the start of the rainy season. Makes me wish I'm still in school, all cuddled up in bed.. thinking of the cartoon shows i can watch in the afternoon *sigh*..

The rain's making me nostalgic...

Sometimes I like it when it rains.. sometimes I don't. Usually the reason being that I couldn't go home early, and the traffic and flooded areas are my biggest enemies. But when I feel like I have all the time in the world, I like the rain. It washes away everything, cleaning the air, watering the plants (there I go with my lover-of-nature side)... *sigh* especially if its only a light drizzle.

I like walking under a light drizzle of rain. Yes, I could get sick, I'm pretty much aware of that, but I barely think about it. It's the moment that I'm under the rain that makes it so special. It's so refreshing and so inspiring. You see everyone trying to get cover from the rain, while you're just savoring the moment and the time is ticking slowly. I was too busy with feeling the drops of water on my skin, nothing matters anymore but that moment. And I wish I could get it back.

These days, the rain falls so hard, you can barely savor it (i don't want to stand under a storm, thank you). But sometimes, when it's close to stopping, I keep my umbrella and walk. Just walk. And people are looking at you, don't know whether they're thinking if you're crAzy or just plain stupid because you could get sick. But who cares? I don't mind a wet look. So what if my clothe's get wet? The rain is my friend at that moment. No one's offering me their umbrella, and that's fine with me.

I used to have someone to walk along with me when its raining.. but that was a long, long time ago.. good times though, good times...

Anyway, the radio announced that classes are suspended for gradeschool and highschool. Lucky kids.. they can cuddle in bed. For working people like me, I had to go to work. But its fine, I guess. It's just a short rain, and the skies are clearing up... tomorrow might be another nostalgic feeling.