He shared his usual thoughts to her in the car. Why the world suddenly changed, why the stock market is falling, or why the recession won't be felt too much in a few months. She listened to his stories, and she suddenly had a thought: "How come he doesn't talk much about himself?" This talk seems to be pre-recorded somehow.
"So what are your plans this New Year?" She asks. He glanced at her for a moment. He told her he's got work to do during the first week of January and how big the event's going to be. He's got parties to attend to and he's planning on having a reunion with highschool batchmates. He continued on his conversations regarding company revenues as she answers with nods, "yes's" and "really's". To her, these aren't what she wanted to hear. She heaved a heavy sigh and continued to watch the cars and people pass by... wishing that the car wasn't too tinted that they will see how she desperately wants to get out of the situation.
Deep in thought, she wondered how long they've known each other. She could only grasp a few moments where they talked about what they wanted to do in the future. How he plans to share a future with someone, nudging the "someone" to her. Still, all were plans written on sand. She looked at him again and thought of how much she wanted to love him but couldn't find the reason why she should.
"I don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't want to waste his time on me."
The ride ended and they finally got to her place. He leaned in for a kiss and she closed her eyes. His lips was soft, but his kiss was strong. If it's answers she's looking for, she finally found it. The kiss, though sweet and sincere, felt empty all through out. She saw his dreams in her mind as she let the kiss go deeper and found that the dreams were incomplete... She wasn't in it.
She felt him wanting more and she slowly pulled away. Her forced smile was gone and she looked at him straight in the eyes. He leaned in for another kiss but gently pushed him away.
She was hoping that slowly tears will form in her eyes but she remembered that there wasn't any reason to cry at all. Those few moments she lingered, she opened the door, placed a hand on his cheeks, gave a sad smile and said,
"I'm sorry... this will never work. Goodbye."
His face distorted with confusion as she gently closed the car door behind her.
January 30, 2009
January 29, 2009
Chained
It seems a good idea then
to give you a present
Not knowing what you
might do with it
Still I wondered
if you're ever going
to keep it with you.
Suddenly out of the blue
there it is
A remembrance
A thought
A sign
A symbol of affection
Showing itself on
your hands.
Seeing you keep it
with you
I know
I finally got you.
to give you a present
Not knowing what you
might do with it
Still I wondered
if you're ever going
to keep it with you.
Suddenly out of the blue
there it is
A remembrance
A thought
A sign
A symbol of affection
Showing itself on
your hands.
Seeing you keep it
with you
I approve of it
And with a silent smileI know
I finally got you.
Me and You
You and I are alike in so many ways. I'm glad I met you and we became friends. We always have this chemistry together and spending time with you made me realize how much I value your friendship.
How much I value you..
Maybe this may sound weird but at first, I was envious of you. You have the things that I want but after I got to know you, I realized that I wish you have what I have now. My envy might have happened because of that person's attention to you but... anyway...
Do you know that you're also beautiful in my eyes?
Yes you are beautiful. No wonder that person got attracted to you. But enough about that. I just like the way your eyes twinkle with fascination everytime I tell you a story. How your lips curve into a smile when you see that I finally found the courage to come out and express how I really felt about what happened. When you gave me words of encouragement, I know and I believed that I will be okay and that these things happen for a reason. How you placed your hand on mine when I was close to tears after telling you everything that happened to me and hugged me tight to show that you're there when I need someone to talk to. Yes, you are beautiful inside and out.
You said that you and I are alike.. thanks.. I'm glad I found someone like you. Atleast I know I'm not alone in this... thing... whatever it is. We understand each other and we know how much we need to be loved.
And thanks for saying you love me.
How much I value you..
Maybe this may sound weird but at first, I was envious of you. You have the things that I want but after I got to know you, I realized that I wish you have what I have now. My envy might have happened because of that person's attention to you but... anyway...
Do you know that you're also beautiful in my eyes?
Yes you are beautiful. No wonder that person got attracted to you. But enough about that. I just like the way your eyes twinkle with fascination everytime I tell you a story. How your lips curve into a smile when you see that I finally found the courage to come out and express how I really felt about what happened. When you gave me words of encouragement, I know and I believed that I will be okay and that these things happen for a reason. How you placed your hand on mine when I was close to tears after telling you everything that happened to me and hugged me tight to show that you're there when I need someone to talk to. Yes, you are beautiful inside and out.
You said that you and I are alike.. thanks.. I'm glad I found someone like you. Atleast I know I'm not alone in this... thing... whatever it is. We understand each other and we know how much we need to be loved.
And thanks for saying you love me.
January 20, 2009
Dream Scene
Thank you for being there to guide at the party when I got lost and suddenly felt out of place. Your touch was sincere as you took my hand and escorted me to the dance floor. I don't know what was really happening, and I regret that I could not remember your face. I probably couldn't dance well but you with you in my arms, it might have been the best waltz I have ever danced to. At some point in that memory, I might have leaned my head on your shoulder, inhaling your scent and hoped that I won't forget it so that when I see you, I would know it was you that I danced with in that dream.
What I could not forget is how you never let go of my hand all through out that scene. In my mind I don't know who you are but my heart is telling me that I have known you for so long. And so I let you hold my hand and I felt how tight you held me and how close I was to you.
You never really wanted to let me go.
What a strange world dreams can be. I know it was only a dream but I hoped so hard in it that it be true. I don't know what happened but the dream ended in a tragedy. It was dark and we ran out to the balcony but there are people following us. You still haven't let me go. But then you told me that we need to jump, and I could not see what it is below. I must have been scared, but you were there with me the whole time.
The last scene I can remember is when you hugged me close and the two of us jumped to our tragic end. Such a reckless act, but we needed to do it. I somehow felt like I was part of a Romeo and Juliet story.
In my dream I saw how it all ended, but the one thing that made me happy amidst the tragedy is that you were still holding my hand till the end.
You never let me go.
So thank you my Dark Prince. I could not remember your face nor your name, but your touch will always be in my memories. Thank you for never letting me go...
What I could not forget is how you never let go of my hand all through out that scene. In my mind I don't know who you are but my heart is telling me that I have known you for so long. And so I let you hold my hand and I felt how tight you held me and how close I was to you.
You never really wanted to let me go.
What a strange world dreams can be. I know it was only a dream but I hoped so hard in it that it be true. I don't know what happened but the dream ended in a tragedy. It was dark and we ran out to the balcony but there are people following us. You still haven't let me go. But then you told me that we need to jump, and I could not see what it is below. I must have been scared, but you were there with me the whole time.
The last scene I can remember is when you hugged me close and the two of us jumped to our tragic end. Such a reckless act, but we needed to do it. I somehow felt like I was part of a Romeo and Juliet story.
In my dream I saw how it all ended, but the one thing that made me happy amidst the tragedy is that you were still holding my hand till the end.
You never let me go.
So thank you my Dark Prince. I could not remember your face nor your name, but your touch will always be in my memories. Thank you for never letting me go...
January 6, 2009
Another round at the papers
This is the second time in my life that my name and my pic appeared in a news paper. This was just a press release on the recent IT Journalists Assoc. Xmas party held at City Garden Hotel. There was a contest there that they called Executive Celebrity duets. They paired up media men and women with IT company executives and they have to sing a song together. It was a fun game but I have to admit I got nervous then. I pitched in for our CM Jennie and me and my partner sang Bring Me to Life by Evanescence (well... it's the song that we're both familiar with, not exactly good at but I think it went well).
We didn't win but we sure had a lot of fun that night. :)
The article is in the link below:
http://news.mediabanc.ws/articles/data/elibrary_ph/20081228_N_MBS_INFO_pgB3_132f3_Top%20tech%20execs%20stoke.pdf
We didn't win but we sure had a lot of fun that night. :)
The article is in the link below:
http://news.mediabanc.ws/articles/data/elibrary_ph/20081228_N_MBS_INFO_pgB3_132f3_Top%20tech%20execs%20stoke.pdf
January 1, 2009
A Message to the Stars
I wonder if he still talks to you guys...
I read his messages again and he mentioned there that if ever I feel alone and lonely, I just need to look up and talk to you. I thought it funny back then, walking then looking up and voicing out your emotions to the sky. Still, it wouldn't be bad to try. So I found myself sending a message to him through the stars. I sure hope you'll give this to him the way I said it.
All I want to say to him is that: I'm still doing my best to smile. To smile even when I'm confused; to smile even when I'm sad; to smile even when I'm tired; to smile when I know that all I want to do is cry.
I'm smiling C. I'm smiling because you said it's better for me to smile. Because I keep on thinking somebody might be watching me and if I look at him, his crazy smile just might make me laugh. The stars have seen me cry so many times, more this year than before. I just couldn't help it. I'm a woman and tears are the only way I can truly show how I feel.
It's just bad how Z had hurt me so much. My heart would break into two every time I see him, and it will take a few reflective thinking just to sew my heart together again. It's frustrating and I don't want it anymore. I gave up longing for him. So this time, I thought of you instead and remembered what you said. I smile now because you said I have to.
I have to smile for you because if I don't, then the stars would know and they will tell you all about it and you'll be sad. Your efforts of trying to keep me a happy person will be wasted. But I don't want that... I don't want you to be sad. But then somehow I know it's not for you, you want me to do this for myself because you know I deserve to be happy.
Well C, I'm smiling now. I told myself I'll leave it all behind and move on. I promised myself that I'll continue smiling and I don't need to be sad when I start thinking about what happened in the past. I remember how you said before that you should just look forward to a new day and make new special memories.
Thanks for loving me so much C. Thanks for the love that I will always remember... and will make me smile.
I read his messages again and he mentioned there that if ever I feel alone and lonely, I just need to look up and talk to you. I thought it funny back then, walking then looking up and voicing out your emotions to the sky. Still, it wouldn't be bad to try. So I found myself sending a message to him through the stars. I sure hope you'll give this to him the way I said it.
All I want to say to him is that: I'm still doing my best to smile. To smile even when I'm confused; to smile even when I'm sad; to smile even when I'm tired; to smile when I know that all I want to do is cry.
I'm smiling C. I'm smiling because you said it's better for me to smile. Because I keep on thinking somebody might be watching me and if I look at him, his crazy smile just might make me laugh. The stars have seen me cry so many times, more this year than before. I just couldn't help it. I'm a woman and tears are the only way I can truly show how I feel.
It's just bad how Z had hurt me so much. My heart would break into two every time I see him, and it will take a few reflective thinking just to sew my heart together again. It's frustrating and I don't want it anymore. I gave up longing for him. So this time, I thought of you instead and remembered what you said. I smile now because you said I have to.
I have to smile for you because if I don't, then the stars would know and they will tell you all about it and you'll be sad. Your efforts of trying to keep me a happy person will be wasted. But I don't want that... I don't want you to be sad. But then somehow I know it's not for you, you want me to do this for myself because you know I deserve to be happy.
Well C, I'm smiling now. I told myself I'll leave it all behind and move on. I promised myself that I'll continue smiling and I don't need to be sad when I start thinking about what happened in the past. I remember how you said before that you should just look forward to a new day and make new special memories.
Thanks for loving me so much C. Thanks for the love that I will always remember... and will make me smile.
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