Love song Circa 90's

Going back to the 90's... the days when gradeschool and highschool life was easy. When all you have to focus on was school (nerd). You always go home early to watch Ang TV and have a crush on Paolo.

And falling in love is all just a thought and you live and breathe "love" through the paperback books like Sweet Valley High... well for some that's the case...

I now share a special song with you from Backstreet Boys (now men... minus one)

HOW DID I FALL INLOVE WITH YOU (BACKSTREET BOYS)
Remember when, we never needed each other
The best of friends like sister and brother
We understood we'd never be alone

Those days are gone, now I want you so much
The night is long and I need your touch
Don't know what to say
Never meant to feel this way
Don't wanna be alone tonight

Chorus
What can I do to make you mine?
Fallen so hard, so fast this time
What did I say, what did you do?
How did I fall in love with you?

I hear your voice and I start to tremble
Brings back the child that I resemble
I cannot pretend that we can still be friends
Don't wanna be alone tonight

Chorus

Ooh I wanna say this right
And it has to be tonight
Just need you to know
I don't wanna live this life
I don't wanna say goodbye
With you I wanna spend the rest of my life

Chorus

What can I do to make you mine?
Fallen so hard, so fast this time
Everything's changed, we never knew
How did I fall in love with you?

Friends don't let friends dial drunk! (Plain White T's)

Again, this goes to Mr. Josef "Dad" Zafra for introducing me to Plain White T's.

It's okay to get drunk. It's fun actually... up until the moment you start throwing up and losing yourself haha. I laugh out loud or grab the mic in the karaoke when I get drunk. But I make sure that if I get drunk, I'm with friends and people I can trust.

Cool song. When I was listening to it, it really makes perfect sense. I remember getting drunk and calling up an ex-lover (christ.. that didn't sound good...) just to tell him I'm drunk and ask how he is. The next morning, I couldn't remember a single thing he said or I said. When we were chatting, he told me he said something important to me but I couldn't remember what it was! Geezus. Well whatever it was, it's gone and I still don't know what that important thing he said was. Another instance, I got drunk and a friend called me up to check on me. I said I was fine, tipsy but still able to go home. However, I got into a little trouble that night and I ended up being "scolded" the following morning.

I think sometimes you do irrational things when you're drunk. Like texting an ex, or someone you like. Because you got that burst of "courage" from alcohol, you think you might be able to get away with it. The following morning, after the headaches, you deny what happened that night....

...gaahd.. sucks to be on the other side... when you're the one that drunk person is texting... and you don't know what to do or say... and when you confront them, they said they forgot already what happened... sucks big time..

 

Would I even have the guts to say this to you?

"Why can't we be friends? Because things cannot remain the way they were. I cannot stay friends with you when I want us to be more than friends. I will not survive being in love with you while you continue treating me as a friend. And I do not want to be a liar or a hypocrite. Therefore, either you give me time to get over you, or you return my love. Whatever the case, our friendship, for the time being, is over."

-- thanks Carl.

How you make me feel

Looking at you... I don't know what I should really feel. It's hard you know? You and me together for the longest time and yet we don't really know each other that well. When I ask you a question, you give one quick answer. No explanations. Atleast I got the answer I need. But sometimes, you beat around the bush. I remember saying something before then now, it got all twisted inside you. I forgot already what is the truth in what I said.

You kept the memories, but I doubt if you even look back at them. I smile, remembering all those great times, those pictures taken, the chat messages, the phone conversations, the music we played... but you.. Do you even try and look back? Do you even try and check if they are still inside, stored in your memories? I'm sure they are... I just don't know if you're affected by it like I am.

At the end of the day, I reflect what else happened to us today. We're both so busy, I barely heard the music you played. We say our non-chalant goodbyes and that's it. The lights are off, and I wonder what's in store tomorrow for us...

There you go again, staring right back... with the blank face.

*my sentiments with my desktop*

Have you Googled yourself lately?

I thought of searching for my real name (the whole birth name) in Google since I recall seeing the line above from a presentation from a colleague...

Unfortunately I couldn't search something specific about me hahaha!

So I CAN'T be googled :P

I tried searching using nickname.. All I found were those that can be found in Multiply webpages (friends and relatives, etc.).

I guess, you can't find everyone in the Net :P

Work-loads

Too many things to do... so little time... a lot of preparations... I'm glued to my seat and to my computer screen... my table's a mess... heaps of papers scattered on top... business cards strewn around... phone kept on ringing and ringing... most of the time the Big boss drops by to check on things (i like it actually)... i keep forgetting to eat on time... now I'm hungry... under my desk is a mess... I'm really really really busy... Do not disturb.. Working hard... i want to scream... can't wait till all the events are done and over with... have to check on book keeping... better list the companies... send out invitations... emails emails emails... kept staying late at the office and I end up closing all the lights and doors... working during the weekends.. labels to be made.. custome list... customer count... damn so busy i don't want to leave my table anymore... have to keep on working..........

But still found time to write blogs in multiply.. hmm..

Weird.

Balentoingks

*Pat peram ah :)*

Roses.. wonderful red roses surprised me the morning of February 14. I thought they were just joking about the delivery. When I saw the box and the name on it, it was really for me!

Wow! No one's ever sent me flowers during V-day before...

Really, really sweet... I love them :) And I couldn't keep the smile on my face from everyone at work. *sigh* I was just really happy :)

 

Rarrr...

I just had the sexiest night the other day.. wow.. take note, it was a Sunday when it happened.. I was just reading a magazine when I thought of taking a bath. With the warm water flowing, the scent of the oils and soaps lingering in the warm air.. gaah... all the time i was smiling...yummy ;)

It was a stressful week the week before that so yeah, I needed the break. Great way to start my week.

Wonderful 30 minutes spent in the shower. And I mean WOW! Great bath... super yummy body scrub...

okay okay... too much info... :P

Bad Craving

Not good. There's a strange urge in me to kill. Heck, I joke around people telling them I'd kill them if they do somethign yadda yadda... But this time, it's a silent urge to really hurt someone so bad.

At the moment, I have weird images of torture playing inside my head... The idea of blood..shit.. i can even smell it.. goodness. And I'm wearing red today..

Damn. I have to supress this. I sure hope this goes away soon...

Busy si Kupido

To the CA3p people... I hope you can still remember the class we had with Sir Bong Lopez during Media Law and he shared this poem with us after one serious discussion. I remember him saying he has had this poem since college and he reads it to a special class every year during Valentines day:

Tula ni Rico Abelardo (Pebrero 14, 1990)

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nagmamahal
nang makita ng lahat
ang kagandahan ng mukha ng pag ibig
ipamalas ang tamis
ng malalim na pagkaka unawaan
sa mga malabo ng paningin

mangyari lamang at tumayo rin
ang mga nagmahal at nasawi
nang makita ng lahat
ang mga sugat ng isang bayani
ipadama ang pait ng kabiguan
habang ipinagbubunyi
ang walang katulad na kagitingan
ng isang nagtaya

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nangangambang magmahal
nang makita ng lahat
ang kilos ng isang bata
ipamalas ang katapatan ng damdamin
na pilit ikinukubli
ng pusong lumaki sa mga engkanto at diwata

mangyari lamang ay tumayo
ang mga nagmahal, minahal at iniwan
ngunit hindi pa ring magmahal
nang makita ng lahat ang yaman ng karanasan
ipamalas ang katotohanang nasaksihan
nang maging makahulugan
ang mga paghagulgol sa dilim

at sa mga nanatiling naka-upo
mangyari lamang ay dahan-dahang tumalilis
papalabas sa nakangangang pinto
umuwi na kayo
at sumbatan ang mga magulang
na nagpalaki ng halimaw

at sa lahat ng nakatayo
mangyari lamang ay hagkan ang isa't isa
at yakapin ang mga sugatan
mabuhay kayong lahat
na nagssikap na makabalik sa ating pinagmulan
manatiling masaya
at higit sa lahat, magpatuloy sa pagmamahal.

I share this to everyone here as we celebrate Valentine's Day 2008. After reading the poem, I ask you this question:

... ano, tatayo ka ba? :)

Dream Poem

I just dreamt of a poem.... and now I can't remember it.

Damn.

I even remember talking in my sleep about it. Saying the lines in my sleep so I wouldn't forget. I even remember waking up and wanting to write it down but my whole body wouldn't move. Really strange. Somewhere inside my head a voice said that I'll remember it in the morning. Unfortunately, my paper is still a blank. So is my memory of that dream.

Curse you sunshine that made me open my eyes...

Contortion

I just saw the other day the show Guiness Book of World Records. They have professional contortionists featured there... and I suddenly had these thoughts:

"I wonder what sex would be like with a professional contortionist??"

"I wonder how two professional contortionists would look like having sex in a box?"

Gaahd.. talk about doing the Kama Sutra =P

LOL! XD

Thousand Miles Away

You wonder what we're all doing right now. Dinner used to be fun, but now the company you have are only the four corners of your room. Work was okay, but compared to when you were here, it was so much better. Atleast in here, someone will make you laugh, people keep on sharing food, you have company when you get home. There, you go home alone to a quiet sanctuary. I'm sure it's driving you crazy... the loneliness and the boredom. Gosh I could hug you right now just thinking about it.

For now, I could only share an imagination with you. That I'm watching you eat the dinner I made for you. Walking beside you while you commute home. Be the imaginary friend you need when the room just feels so big and you just need someone to talk to.

It's so easy to use your imagination. So that you don't have to feel alone, let me imagine about it too and hope that some magical force could make you feel the company you need. :)

*for Mr. Singapore*

 

We're the new face of FAILURE

All the while, it was just a facade. But underneath there was nothing there. Who woulda thought we could trick everyone about it? Made them believe and watch a sort of teleserye forming out in front of their eyes. They even looked forward to what's going to happen next! Would you believe that? That we are just mere characters formed in their minds because some people thought "they look nice". It was all just a misunderstanding. There was nothing there, really. We were just joking.

And then years after, you come face to face with that person and you're both in shock when one of you suddenly asks, "Was it just really a play thought of by them? I thought I sensed something else was brewing underneath all that acting?". And deep inside, you start picking up all those little pieces and wonder, what did really happen? Was there really a spark? Who ended the whole thing? Questions that you thought you never had to ask.

Reality still bites. And you tried it. This time you took another chance. Somehow, you realize, the imaginary play was way different from how you two acted towards each other in real life. Still, it was hard. You just can't seem to find the right words, you don't know how you should really react. As compared to the script made by them, this time there's no cue on how you should start, who should say something first. You tried the baby steps but it's still hard to  try and do it on your own.

And so, you both just end up as characters in a play. Better to be lovers there than in real life. Easier, more manageable, atleast the mask and character is your own shield. In the time you've been together, shields down, you find it hard to show the real you. It's all so complicated.  But it's best to be just the make believe couple everyone thought of.

(okay... wtf??? sometimes I scare myself on what i write. Can someone please tell me if I made sense at all?? geez. That's not even me in the text (I think))