Help yourself before you help others

From Bo Sanchez's blog: http://bosanchez.ph/give-yourself-the-gift-of-limits/

Here’s my lesson: Don’t always save people from the painful consequences of their decisions.  (It was his decision to be an inefficient messenger, not mine.)  Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is to allow a person to experience the bad results of his bad choices.

The Bible talks about Tough Love.

St. Paul said, If one will not work, neither let him eat.  (2 Thessalonians 3:10)  Pretty harsh, don’t you think?  But that’s the point.  That harshness may be the trigger that will force him to change his life. 

The Bible also says, A worker’s appetite works for him, for his hunger urges him on.  (Proverbs 16:26)  Don’t always save people from their hunger.  Because that hunger may move him to change.

Self-love

Quoting from Bo Sanchez's blog (http://bosanchez.ph)



"The difference is simple.  “Selfishness” is meeting your own needs and your own needs only. “Self-love” is meeting your needs so that you can meet the needs of others even more.


Within you is a Love Tank.  And your Love Tank has a faucet.  The only way for love to flow out of that faucet is if your Love Tank is full.  If you don’t receive love, you won’t be able to give love.  You can’t give what you don’t have.  You can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself.  You can’t even love God if you don’t love yourself.


Even Jesus honored his needs.  The Bible says that when crowds of people came to him for healing, he honored his need to be alone.  But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. (Luke 5:15–16)


I know people who don’t even know their needs anymore.  They are so overwhelmed by the needs of other people, they don’t have time to listen to their own needs.


Why? 


Early on, they were brainwashed that their needs weren’t important.  Correction: They were brainwashed that THEY were not important.


People with Toxic Shame feel they don’t deserve to meet their needs, whatever needs they have."

Ten Commandments for Peace of Mind

Reposting what I saw from old emails. Here are some nice thoughts for you. 


1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked


Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we nave convinced ourselves that our way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of individuality and consequently the existence of God. God has created each one of us in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the same way.


All men or women act the way they do because God within them prompts them that way. There is God to look after everything. Why are you bothered? Mind your own business and you will keep your peace.


2. Forgive And Forget


This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill feelings inside our heart for
the person who insults us or harms us. We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of
sleep. development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or injury was done
once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit Believe in the Justice of God. Let Him judge the act of the one who insulted you. Life is too short to waste in such trifles. Forgive. Forget, and march on. Love flourishes in giving and
forgiving.


3. Do Not Crave For Recognition


This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to kill yourself in
striving for their recognition? Their recognition is not worth the aggravation. Do your duties
ethically and sincerely and leave the rest to God.


4. Do Not Be Jealous


We all have experienced hew jealousy can disturb our peace of mind. You know
That you work harder than your colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You started a business several years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose business is only one year old. There are several examples like these in everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. If you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get you anywhere: it will only take away your peace of mind.


5. Change Yourself According To The Environment


If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.




6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured                       


This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or change them, we must learn  to put up with these things. We must learn to endure them cheerfully thinking, "God wills it so, so be it." God's plan is beyond our comprehension. Believe in it and you will gain in terms of patience, inner strength and will power.


7. Do Not Bite off More Than You Can Chew


This maxim needs to be remembered constantly- We often tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. Why take on additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material engagements and spend time in
prayer, introspection and meditation. This will reduce those thoughts in your mind that make you
restless. Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.


8. Meditate Regularly


Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind. Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit by gradually increasing the period of daily mediation. You may think that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this will increase your efficiency and you will be able t0 produce better results in less time.


9. Never Leave the Mind Vacant


An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your interest. You must decide what you value more; money or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or temple work, may not always earn you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.


10. Do Not Procrastinate and Never Regret


Do not waste time in protracted wondering "Should I or shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate all future happenings. Always remember, God has His own plan, too for you. Value your time and do the things that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail
the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and succeed the next time.



Sitting back and worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the Will of God. You do not have the power to alter the course of God’s Will. Why cry over spilt milk?