Wonder Girl

They say you should look forward for the New Year ahead. But somehow I don't want to let go of 2010 yet. There are still some things I wish I could just do over. Moments that have passed, words that were unsaid, people I should've met. Still no one can try and lasso back those times you wished you have done differently.


Why 2010? Why not the other years? Why not think about the long, gone past? I guess maybe this year felt incomplete. I wasn't able to make the best out of this year I guess. I just let time flew by all and I did was watch and didn't do a thing about it. I've always considered myself an observer and a listener, that's it. I failed to speak up.

Last year I told my friends I'm looking forward to 2010 because it will be my best year yet. The sudden barge through the doors of the year didn't happen. All I did was peeked and waited for things to happen.

Now 2011 is here. There’s only about 700+ days before the end of the world. Well hopefully it's not the end. Hopefully the Mayan calendar gave a wrong forecast. Hopefully somebody, someone out there will walk among us and would still be amazed of the beauty this world has. I still have the fuzzy feeling inside for the world.

A few more days left and I haven't felt that special. Neither have I done anything special. I look through old notes and letters and wonder where did all those days have gone, whatever happened to that girl? I wonder if she ever got that happy ending, will she ever wear that dress, did she go down that road to success, was she able to meet the people she's supposed to meet? So many what-if scenarios and I wish next year there wouldn't be so much of it.

I'm not yet prepared to say that next year will be different. I'll wait until the right moment comes for me to say that "Next year will be the year". I still have a few more days this December to think about the good that have happened this year. I guess I've experience too many negative emotions lately that here I am brooding again.

I need to be alone with my thoughts once more.