Paranoia

Please find time to look back as you move forward. I'm already falling behind...

I ask my self why I love you but I couldn't find the answer. I searched for it on your sleeping face but I couldn't disturb your dreams. Your mind has taken sides with your doubtful thoughts. Thankfully your heart hasn't been affected yet.

Your touch is no longer gentle. I'm confused with every contact that stir my deepest soul. And your kiss most of all, before when it seems you were calling out my name with every kiss we share, have been silent. Your eyes too have been lying to me. I see my reflection in your eyes, looking like a blurred memory.

Even the sky has gone blank. The stars barely speak and the moon has stopped smiling. You're standing there beside me but you haven't said anything. You didn't tell me that the universe has changed when I turned my back for a moment.

So I find myself crying for no reason. That choking sensation inside me have won and so I cry every morning and every night. I think of you and how I want us to be together and the tears speak to me about not losing hope, thus I cry. I think of you and "what-if" you have gone away from me, and my eyes starts brimming with tears. I don't know which one is the lesser evil: being together with you but it hurts when you throw my love aside? Or not being with you and not feeling anything for you at all? It's both painful and the more I think about it, the closer I am to crawling to the grave.

My heart won't take it if you go because it knows that you're the only one. I am a true example of love waiting, of a single soul searching for it's other half. You're here now; I've found you. So when you're gone, where will my soul go? It found you already, the search is over. She couldn't think of anyone else to love.

Please don't go. You're alot to lose.