I find that reading the end of a story is more interesting. If you found out that it's a happy ending, you would want to read the rest of the story. If it's sad, then reading how it happened will be the next step. If the ending is somewhat strange or confusing, well that's one reason not to continue reading the whole book. But I like reading endings even if it does break the excitement.
For me, endings are more exciting than you think.
It's good for us that we don't know how we will all end. I read in a book somewhere that death is a prologue to life. It's good that we have no idea what will happen when we die. For us, living each day is more exciting than finding out the end of a life. Even now that we are alive, we wonder what will happen after we die.
December 28, 2008
A Letter
You...
You think it's easy being me. Wearing this gilded mask of gold with a curved smile, showing off to everyone how great I am not being with you. But we are not in a masquerade anymore, and this mask is too heavy a burden to hide what I really want you to see. Still, my own pride would not let me stoop down to a level so low as yours: showing everyone that you are the one hurting and it is I that should take the step to close this chapter once and for all.
No. Not anymore. I've given you so many chances and not once did you even try to make it up to me. I have had it with your cold goodbyes and nonchalant conversations. This time, I don't care anymore.
I read somewhere that future happiness is far better than reminiscing old memories. I've wondered and looked back hundreds of times to those thoughts of you. My head is already so full of "what-could-have-beens" and I think I should let it rest now. Thinking of you won't make you come back. You're just a memory, a past persona, and I've held on to you long enough. I've said goodbye to my past and I welcome the new love and happiness that awaits me this year. I am looking forward to that.
How about you? I guess I shouldn't wonder anymore what will happen to you. You seem to be doing just fine and we'll keep it at that. I can't let my mind wander to your memories. I've already traded them for something greater, something a lot more worthit, and I don't have to shed my tears for it.
So let this be a goodbye. I've closed the chapter on my side. I've locked the door and gave the key to my keeper. I once said goodbye is never easy... somehow this seems to be the quickest one I've ever done yet. Farethee well...
You think it's easy being me. Wearing this gilded mask of gold with a curved smile, showing off to everyone how great I am not being with you. But we are not in a masquerade anymore, and this mask is too heavy a burden to hide what I really want you to see. Still, my own pride would not let me stoop down to a level so low as yours: showing everyone that you are the one hurting and it is I that should take the step to close this chapter once and for all.
No. Not anymore. I've given you so many chances and not once did you even try to make it up to me. I have had it with your cold goodbyes and nonchalant conversations. This time, I don't care anymore.
I read somewhere that future happiness is far better than reminiscing old memories. I've wondered and looked back hundreds of times to those thoughts of you. My head is already so full of "what-could-have-beens" and I think I should let it rest now. Thinking of you won't make you come back. You're just a memory, a past persona, and I've held on to you long enough. I've said goodbye to my past and I welcome the new love and happiness that awaits me this year. I am looking forward to that.
How about you? I guess I shouldn't wonder anymore what will happen to you. You seem to be doing just fine and we'll keep it at that. I can't let my mind wander to your memories. I've already traded them for something greater, something a lot more worthit, and I don't have to shed my tears for it.
So let this be a goodbye. I've closed the chapter on my side. I've locked the door and gave the key to my keeper. I once said goodbye is never easy... somehow this seems to be the quickest one I've ever done yet. Farethee well...
December 15, 2008
The Papa John's Center Kids
We hosted a kiddie party as our Christmas party for USAP this year. I'm attaching here the video taken where the kids rendered us a song as thanks for that party we gave them. It was so much fun being with those children... they are all so sweet and you can feel that they wanted to be hugged and loved all the time. I'm glad I was able to spend one Saturday with them.
We are always reminded that it is always better to give... and whatever it is that you have given, you will receive a thousand fold more...
We are always reminded that it is always better to give... and whatever it is that you have given, you will receive a thousand fold more...
December 5, 2008
Scene 1
Scene 1
"your smile is that sunshine that makes me open my eyes every morning. and your kiss in the moonlight is what makes my dreams sweet."
she opened her eyes and saw that the sun has barely risen. her phone sits beside her and saw that she was too early for her alarm. this scene seems familiar... something that have happened so many times before, where waking up was so easy when she sees a special message on her phone. she closed her eyes and she remembers the best time she's had with him. "thinking about it won't make him come back." she said to herself. she sat on her bed and started looking for something to write on. words seemed to be flowing endlessly in her mind and all she had to do now was to grab them and put on paper.
so she did.. but somehow she didn't know how to start it. it started out as a poem, then a prose.. but she found that she had already started writing a letter to him.
"foolish, foolish little man. you took my heart and put it in your box, buried it somewhere. I thought you had wanted to keep it for good. but then you ran away and you LIED. i wish you hadn't kissed me, i wish i hadn't made that promise to you. i have a lot to un-wish for but i can't take anything back. no... i don't think getting those memories and those smiles, those hugs and kisses back would be mean anything. but there's only one thing i truly wish for... i wish you'll just come back..."
"weird." she read her work over. she sighed and continue daydreaming. she flipped through her notes and saw the line she wrote over a year ago. a line that supposed to be the beginning of a poem. the line that she only dedicated for him. the line that means how much she had wanted to be with him. the line that means she misses him so. the very line that made her realize that she had loved him ever since.
and with that line.. her tears started to fall.
she opened her eyes and saw that the sun has barely risen. her phone sits beside her and saw that she was too early for her alarm. this scene seems familiar... something that have happened so many times before, where waking up was so easy when she sees a special message on her phone. she closed her eyes and she remembers the best time she's had with him. "thinking about it won't make him come back." she said to herself. she sat on her bed and started looking for something to write on. words seemed to be flowing endlessly in her mind and all she had to do now was to grab them and put on paper.
so she did.. but somehow she didn't know how to start it. it started out as a poem, then a prose.. but she found that she had already started writing a letter to him.
"foolish, foolish little man. you took my heart and put it in your box, buried it somewhere. I thought you had wanted to keep it for good. but then you ran away and you LIED. i wish you hadn't kissed me, i wish i hadn't made that promise to you. i have a lot to un-wish for but i can't take anything back. no... i don't think getting those memories and those smiles, those hugs and kisses back would be mean anything. but there's only one thing i truly wish for... i wish you'll just come back..."
"weird." she read her work over. she sighed and continue daydreaming. she flipped through her notes and saw the line she wrote over a year ago. a line that supposed to be the beginning of a poem. the line that she only dedicated for him. the line that means how much she had wanted to be with him. the line that means she misses him so. the very line that made her realize that she had loved him ever since.
and with that line.. her tears started to fall.
December 1, 2008
Soon
White clouds spell out your name
The wind echoes your song
Everytime the clock looks the same
The seconds are ticking too long
Hours I've spent waiting
Hoping you'd be here sooner
Good thing I love writing
Poems and prose on paper
The calendar counts its days
I'm thinking what else to do
Writing our names in so many ways
Wishing just to be with you
I hope time can run faster
Then it would be just fine
The sooner this week would be over
The sooner you would be mine
(reposting a poem I wrote on August 9, 2007. This is also titled: No I Don't Miss You At All. I wrote this especially for someone special when the times were easy, happy, and I fell so hopelessly in love with him. I hope he remembers this..)
The wind echoes your song
Everytime the clock looks the same
The seconds are ticking too long
Hours I've spent waiting
Hoping you'd be here sooner
Good thing I love writing
Poems and prose on paper
The calendar counts its days
I'm thinking what else to do
Writing our names in so many ways
Wishing just to be with you
I hope time can run faster
Then it would be just fine
The sooner this week would be over
The sooner you would be mine
(reposting a poem I wrote on August 9, 2007. This is also titled: No I Don't Miss You At All. I wrote this especially for someone special when the times were easy, happy, and I fell so hopelessly in love with him. I hope he remembers this..)
Waiting
You're taking too long but I don't mind.
Waiting for you is a habit already. I'm trying to keep myself busy
but still, it's okay. I don't mind waiting for you. But there are times
I just can't understand what's taking you too long for you
to be here, to decide which right words to say, to decide what you will do,
to decide to move on or to let go. Still, I'm right here where you know I will be.
Just waiting until I see you, to hear from you again, to touch you,
to be close to you again. Even when sometimes I find myself
getting too tired (painful even) to wait, I still haven't moved
from my place. I'm still right here. Waiting.
(reposting a prose I wrote on March 25, 2008)
Waiting for you is a habit already. I'm trying to keep myself busy
but still, it's okay. I don't mind waiting for you. But there are times
I just can't understand what's taking you too long for you
to be here, to decide which right words to say, to decide what you will do,
to decide to move on or to let go. Still, I'm right here where you know I will be.
Just waiting until I see you, to hear from you again, to touch you,
to be close to you again. Even when sometimes I find myself
getting too tired (painful even) to wait, I still haven't moved
from my place. I'm still right here. Waiting.
(reposting a prose I wrote on March 25, 2008)
A Wall
A wall
Brick by brick, you and I
put each one in place
In the process
Still catching a glimpse
of each other.
Piece by piece, you and I
create a barrier
the words we don't say
form the blocks in our hands
our conversation masterpiece
is the wall in between.
Block by block, you and I
put them on top of each other
Unspoken feelings made it stronger
And I myself
glue them with tears.
Between us, a wall
that will be stronger
as we walk away from each other.
(reposting a poem I made last August 5, 2008)
Brick by brick, you and I
put each one in place
In the process
Still catching a glimpse
of each other.
Piece by piece, you and I
create a barrier
the words we don't say
form the blocks in our hands
our conversation masterpiece
is the wall in between.
Block by block, you and I
put them on top of each other
Unspoken feelings made it stronger
And I myself
glue them with tears.
Between us, a wall
that will be stronger
as we walk away from each other.
(reposting a poem I made last August 5, 2008)
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